Tuesday, December 7, 2010

no news

i want to post something.  but it is difficult to write anything when you're uninspired.   

Monday, October 25, 2010

work sucks but i need the bucks

i mentioned before that i'm job hunting within the company.  well, unfortunately i was informed last friday that i didn't get the role i applied for.  the email was actually well-written.  it said i was a possible candidate and i had potential for the role but due to the stringent requirement for the role they have to look elsewhere.  i guess that's a good way of saying it rather than not even bothering to let me know that i didn't get the job.

i'm a bit bummed but what can i do.  that job was not for me.  i knew it was not a right fit for me.  hell, they were looking for someone who had background in statistics not just research.  i used to be a researcher but i am perfectly clueless about stat so that's just it.  i wanted my way out of this dumpster but suffice it to say, that that role was not my ticket out.

i'm annoyed than usual about my role.  actually, the actual work is okay.  i can deal with and i am actually good in it.  what annoys me are the people i work with.  the manipulative bitches who suck the life out of me.  the scheming third-rate team leads who got to their position simply because of seniority.

i feel exploited by these assholes.  they exploit my skills and yet they don't have any intention of recognizing my contributions.  urgh!  i hate you all!  i'm sick of your faces.  if only i can get away with it, you will leave the office today black and blue with your hair falling off  your heads.

hahaha.  i think i should enroll myself in anger management class.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

my rebonded hair

i lurve my rebonded hair.  haha.  it's super straight and shiny.  i don't have to spend a lot of time fixing my hair in the morning.  it's actually wash and wear.  i just dry it using the electric fan and i'm good to go.  yes electric fan.  i am not a fan of blow dryer.  haha!


skills exploitation

i felt exploited at work this week.  my boss is not very good when it comes to writing.  i am not a good writer but so far i'm the best in the team.  

anyway, they wanted to nominate a project for the upcoming project management awards and they had to come up with a write up for the project.  i was extremely busy because it was a peak season at work but they asked for my help and i did.

i had nothing to gain from that write up.  my name would not even see the light of day in that nomination.  if ever the project wins, i will not receive an award because i am not one of the project managers.  i am just a member of the project team.  but because i always strive for excellence i came up with the best write up as i possibly can.  i was not a project manager so there were details that i was not aware of so i felt that i could have come up with a better write up than i did but that's beside the point.

the point is, i am always there.  i always help out.  i always contribute more than what is expected.  i always deliver excellent results.  i always have good ideas.  BUT i don't think i am given what i deserve.  work sucks.  i freakin' hate it.

against all odds

my bf and i got into some kind of a fight last night.  my friend texted me about wanting to introduce me to someone.  unfortunately, my bf saw the text message and of course he immediately felt bad.  it was an awful situation.  i was prepared to have a date night with him because it was a friday but the night turned sour.

i don't know what my friend was thinking.  she knew i was in a relationship and she even met my bf.  i knew that she wasn't as enthusiastic about him but i did not expect her to behave like that.  i understand her.  i know that she is looking out for me.  just like my mom who does not like my bf as well.  

i know they would love him because he really is good-natured but they don't know that.  their primary concern is how good of a provider he will be in the future.  he's not irresponsible i can say that.  but i don't know how to say it but i agree that his earning capacity is not that impressive.  he can earn money but not enough, not at par with how much i earn that is.

anyway, my bf felt awful until this morning.  i wanted to be as patient would him as i can but this morning i snapped at him.  i understand that he felt bad but i don't want him to take it out on me.  

everything is ok now.  i know that he would still think about it.  i want them to be in good terms so i would have to come up with a good lie to cover for my friend.  i understand them both.  

things will get better i know.  i still have high hopes that eventually my bf will be successful and all these question about him would be put to rest.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

my tony and jackey experience

i'm happy with how my rebond turned out.  i can recommend tony and jackey for those who want to have their hair rebonded.  i got the l'oreal package which costs 5,000 pesos.  it includes hair treatment, hair rebond, hair manicure, and hair cut.  it's expensive considering that there are salons who offer rebond for half the price but i i'm more comfortable to entrust my hair to a reputable salon.  

the whole process took 4hours.  it sounds like a long time but i had fun watching people having their hair cuts so i didn't notice the time.  each of the treatments take 20 mins.  it was the rinsing and the blowdrying that took longer.  for those who are curious, the process is like this:  hair treatment - rebond -hair iron - neutralizer - hair manicure - hair cut.  the hair manicure is actually just like cellophane.  unfortunately, they only have two colors for the cellophane - black and dark brown so i opted for the dark brown.  i actually wanted a more visible color but that would just have to wait.  that would be my next hair project.  haha.

after the rebond, the hair is really flat and very soft.  it actually looks just like my normal hair but better.  haha.  i didn't wash it for two days which was the instruction.  today, i finally washed it but only used conditioner.  tomorrow, i will use shampoo because it's a bit too oily now.  haha.  

all in all, i am happy i chose tony and jackey.  i am satisfied with how my hair looks.  it doesn't look fake like the rebonded hair that i often see.  it's soft and shiny.  i can actually be a hair model now.  haha.

i'm sure a lot of ladies are researching about rebond so if you come across my blog, i hope this post helps.

instant ayos!

i finally had my hair rebonded!  wohoo!  after almost a year of talking about it, planning about it, obsessing about it, i conquered my fears and went ahead with it.  i'm a bit paranoid when it comes to my hair.  when i was in college, i went to the salon to get the edgy haircut that was "in" at that time.  and i went out of the salon looking like a boy.  even justin bieber had longer hair/bangs than i did at that time.  haha.

i digress.  well, the real story is about the rebond.  i have straight hair but i want a commercial-ready straight hair and i knew that in my case, the way to get that is to have my hair rebonded.  about 6 years ago, when i didn't know about rebond (which probably already already existed but was too expensive for a low key person like me), i straightened my already straight hair.  haha.  the result was fantastic.  not a strand out of place.  i loved it.  i was actually planning to just straighten my hair again just like i did 6 years ago but according to the salons i've been to, i can't do it yet because of my highlights.  it might burn my hair.  so that's a big X!

i digress again.  haha.  so, i went to tony and jackey which is a korean salon.  they have a promo package for hair rebond.  there are a lot of salons who offer rebond for a much lower price but i opted to do it in a reputable salon because i've heard a lot of horror stories about hair rebond.  the promo package cost me 5,000 pesos by the way.

this post is already too long.  i'll write a new one for my salon experience. :)

internal job hunting

i applied for an internal job posting a couple of weeks ago.  after a week, i didn't hear from the hiring manager so i told myself that's the end of it.  and then surprisingly, the next day the hiring manager pinged me and told me that he just noticed my application and wanted to check if i'm still interested so i said yes.  we talked the following day.  just an informal chat since i already said everything in my application.  the application is sort of essay-type so that basically almost the interview.

i told my manager about the application after the chat with the hiring manager.  hiring managers ask for feedback from the current manager so i informed my manager.  as it turns out, my manager was surprised about the application.  i don't know if it's an issue but her manager who is my one-up manager asked me about the application.  what the fuck?  my manager does not have the balls to talk to me.  he has to tell his immediate manager about it.  give me a break!  

well, i've already talked to both of them and sorted things out.  i cleared that i am not unhappy (although i really am) and i am just exploring my options for career growth.  it's a lie obviously because i'm sick of my current role already.  well, sick maybe too much but i mean, when you work your ass off, at one point you would ask "what's in it for me?".  there aren't any positions to get promoted so if i'm not going to be promoted then i better take charge of my career right?  i have to look for a place where i can grow.  i ain't working hard for nothing.

insert deep, deep sigh here.  haha.  i want to get promoted!  i want a job where i can be successful.  i. want. to. be. successful.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

the unfashionable loves fashion

one of the things i really enjoy doing is to watch tv series.  i used to watch tv a lot but when i discovered the power of downloading, i said good bye to tv and hello to laptop-viewing.  sometimes when my most coveted tv series are un-downloadable, i turn to buying pirated dvds.  haha!

i have observed that etc (a local tv channel) is a good source of new tv series.  my recent discovery is the rachel zoe project.  i knew about rachel zoe from perez hilton's website.  as a person, she's not that interesting because she's not as crazy as the kardashians but i guess it's her job and the world she lives in that has captured my attention.  

i would definitely be out of place in the fashion world.  everybody looks fab and fierce.  women are well put together, not a strand of hair out of place.  i like that.  i find it amusing.  i'm not a fashionista.  of course, since i live a low key life, i dress the part.  so there's a mismatch there.  i love looking at fashion but i-am-not-fasyon!.  haha.

high heels would sometimes go well with the dress i'm wearing but i would settle for flats because it's more comfortable.  i would choose flats even if it decreases the attire's wow factor.  lol!  i guess for me, comfort comes before vanity.  

what about you, would you prefer fashion over comfort?

Friday, September 24, 2010

how exactly does link within work?

i only have a few posts so far so i guess this affects how the link within tool works.  it seems that the link within suggests random posts only not the relevant posts as it should.  maybe because i don't put in labels and tags to my posts?  hhmm.... let me put labels first and see how it behaves.

well, it's still not working as i expect it to.  :(  maybe if i have more posts then link within can perform better. 

Thursday, September 23, 2010

early weekend

 i have a lot of stuff on my mind that i wanted to write about.  but i'm too sleepy now.  just one more day before the work week is officially over.  but in my case, work week is ovah!  woohoo!  i'm taking a day off tomorrow.  :)

Saturday, September 18, 2010

cheap and fake

i went to a flea market today and bought fake LV and Mango bags.  haha.  i don't look like someone who can afford to buy an LV bag but what the heck.  i wouldn't even try to pretend that my fake bag is a real thing. i bought it because it's cheap, even cheaper than unbranded bags.  and i find it cute.  i like the color, the size, and the shape. :)

there are a lot of shoes and clothes.  i kept on trying shoes on display but in my mind, i was thinking that the next shop would probably offer a better deal.  i kept on moving from one shop to another and i ended up without a single pair of shoes on hand.  haha.  

i still prefer the local flea market compared to the ones i've been to in hong kong.  it's still cheaper and there's more variety.  i wanted to take pictures so i can post it here but i'm scared of pickpockets so i didn't bring a camera.

i want to go back to the flea market again.  maybe some time next, next week.  the place is huge and i think i only covered about 25% of the shops.  i want to see more cheap and fake stuff.  flea market i will be back! 

Friday, September 17, 2010

tokyo tokyo!

my boyfriend and i had our first date in tokyo, tokyo.  i was very uncomfortable but of course, i had to act that was just cool about it.  i think he felt the same.  we ordered their beef misono with pork tonkatsu sumo meal which was a big bowl of rice topped with beef misono and pork tonkatsu of course!  haha.  it came with two glasses of red iced tea.  so it was perfect for us.

we normally eat out every friday and today was business as usual.  we were really hungry and we chose to eat at tokyo tokyo again.  this is why i remembered our first date.  i had a moment of flashback.  lol!  we ordered the same food but this time i was no longer demure.  haha!  i was really hungry, the food tasted so much better.  i had good servings of rice and beef and pork.  the chopsticks didn't hinder me from eating a lot.  

i think tokyo tokyo is a good place for a relaxed date.  it's stiff and formal like other restaurants.  there are sumo meals that's enough for 2.  and their food is reasonably priced.  our dinner cost only 255 pesos. with that i guess i can give it 4 out of 5 spoons errr...chopsticks.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

work feels like work

familiar with the saying, find a job that you love and you won't have to work a single day in your life?  i really wish i got into a career path that i love so i won't have to feel like a slave everyday.

i'm losing interest in my work.  i used to really put in a lot of effort at work.  i don't mind staying late and i work on weekends even.  i don't enjoy it but it was something that i was ok with.  now, i don't enjoy it period.  i'm still a hardworker because that's one of my innate qualities.  when i'm doing something, i try to give it my best shot even if it's something that i don't want to do.  except sports that is.  i absolutely hate sports.  when i have to play ball or whatever kind of sport during office olympics, i really get surly.  but i digress.  i'm losing interest at work because i don't feel that i'm reaping the fruits of my labor.  i want to get promoted and i want the salary increase that goes with it.

i'm actually due for transfer since i've been 2 years in my current role already.  so i really hope that when i get to move to a new role, it will be something that i will be exceptionally good at, something that i will enjoy, something where there will be more direction in terms of career path, and a huge salary increase!  haha. 

how about you?  do you enjoy your work?

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

virtual businesswoman

exactly a year ago, i was very much into fb games.  i had farmville, farmtown, pet society, restaurant city, etc.  i can't remember what the other games were.  now, i'm getting hooked again!  lol!

a few of my officemates are playing chocolatier, bar society, and fashion world.  i got curious and viola, i'm part of the bandwagon.  it's a good stress reliever i think.  but it kills a lot of time.  i used to just play fb games when i get home from work.  i'm not as addicted as before but i play when i'm free.  i don't actually log into fb that often but because of the games, i log on almost everyday.  haha!

well, i guess it's kinda interesting because i get to manage businesses.  i feel like a powerful businesswoman handling multiple businesses that are all raking in a lot of cash!  when will this happen in real life!? :)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

true blo(od)g

i love reading blogs that show the true blood of their authors.  i am entertained by bloggers who share a part of themselves - whether good or bad.  when i read happy moments in their lives, i feel inspired.  when i read about the negative stuffs, i don't mind because these are the real deal.

i also enjoy blogs that are so impersonal but not as much as i enjoy true blood blogs.  well, for me, impersonal blogs would include those blogs that only focus on writing reviews - movie reviews, restaurant reviews, gadgets, fashion, make-up etc.  owners of such blogs don't share anything about themselves.  actually, they write about everything except about them. :)

i have been reading a lot of true blood blogs lately.  i appreciate their honesty.  i might not know them personally.  i might not even like them or feel comfortable around them if i knew them in real life.  but they feed my curiosity.  they are my escape from reality boredom.   

how about you?  do you have a true blood blog or an impersonal one?

bitter pill as vitamins

i am not a religious person but i try to be a good christian.  emphasis on the word "try" since it takes a lot to be a good christian and i have to admit that i don't exert as much effort as i ought to.  anyway, i attended a bible study this morning and bitterness was the focus of the lesson.  

i.am.a.bitter.person.  i have so much "imbyerna" in my body.  imbyerna is a local term for something to the effect of being dramatically annoyed.  i get pissed easily.  i get annoyed by the slightest distraction.  it seems that i have mistaken bitter pills for vitamins.

i guess my gender is one of the contributing factors why my "imbyerna" mode is always on.  women are known to over-analyze everything.  i'm a mad woman.  i always think about the ulterior motive.  i don't take things at face value.  i always try to think about infinity...and beyond... lol!

i also think that it's because i am exposed to so much negativity that it became a part of my system.  i harbor ill feelings toward anything under the sun.  what a trite expression - anything under the sun.

geez, i have been posting one negative entry after another.  i hope i can write something light and refreshing next time.  

Saturday, September 11, 2010

wedding bills?

people are going over the top on weddings these days.  i just talked to two very close friends of mine.  one is going to spend around 450 thousand while the other estimates her wedding cost to be close to 520 thousand.  and then i heard that one of my officemates is spending over a million on her wedding.  OMG!  is it that expensive to get married?

i don't want to be a hypocrite.  i am also dreaming of a nice wedding.  i've never had a grand celebration in my entire life.  i didn't have a grand debut party when i turned 18.  i thought it was a waste of money.  but i don't think i can say the same for my wedding.  i want it to be elegant.  

i know that what happens after the wedding is more important than the wedding itself.  i don't want to spend so much on the wedding and then end up in debts after because we have spent all of our savings for a one day event.  but i don't want to be a pauper on my wedding.  i want to feel like a princess on that special day. 

i am not asking for too much.  i want a small wedding.  few people who are there to celebrate with me not just mere spectators.  i just hope that we can save up enough so i can have the wedding that i want.  simple, small, and elegant.

how about you, how much are you willing to spend on your wedding?

Thursday, September 9, 2010

are you gonna be like my dad?

i am pissed and frustrated at my boyfriend.  he and i both know that his job sucks.  he earns barely enough and his company treats its employees like school kids.  he keeps on saying that he will find another job when he is irritated at work.  but i don't see him doing something about it.  i mean, if your work sucks, FIND ANOTHER JOB!  

i am also irritated that he is clinging to his office friends.  he has friends who transferred to company x.  he said he hates the nature of his current work, saying that it is not his cup of tea.  he wants to go into programming, yada, yada, yada.  but holy crap, why does he keep on blabbing about company x where his work will be the same.

since he said he hates his current job and wants to pursue a career in programming, i searched for programming jobs.  i sent his resume and he got an invitation to come in for an exam.  but to my frustration, he always has an excuse not to go.  i mean, you're not even sure you would get the job.  what's wrong with just trying it out?

just a few minutes ago, i got a message from him that he and his office friends are planning to apply to this company y which is into programming.  well now, he is considering to apply.  and why?!  because his friends are also applying!  i want explode!  i am so angry, tears are welling up in my eyes.

if i don't hold my tongue, i think i'm gonna lose it.  if only he can read this, i wanna say this:  i don't want you to turn out to be just like my dad who can't stand on his own.  who instead of doing something to improve the situation is too lazy to even do something.  and i don't want to end up just like my mother who takes on the lead role in the family.  who shouldered all the burden in the family because he has a husband she can't depend on.

who's your homie?

people who don't know me would immediately conclude that i am a snob.  i can't blame them since i look like a snob.  i don't have the angelic and naive type of face that we normally see in teen magazines.  sometimes, when i feel like it, i smile at people i don't even know.  but usually, i just sport an i-don't-give-a-damn-look. 

it's not that i intentionally want to intimidate people.  it's just that i am not that interested in people.  i don't feel the need to accumulate friends.  actually, i find it completely strange when people particularly in facebook, add people they don't even know.  i mean what's the point?  i think it is utterly useless and i find it annoying.   

i don't feel the need to be famous or to know almost everybody in the neighborhood or in the office or wherever i might be.  what i need is to be close to the people who matter to me.  people who will be a part of my life after i have moved houses, transferred to a different job, or migrated to a different planet. :)

because i live a low key life, i am fine with the small circle of friends that i have.  these are the people i have and intend to maintain deep and long lasting relationships with.

why is it my low key life?

i wanted to remain anonymous so i picked out a name for my blog that couldn't possibly be associated with me.  unlike people i know who display their urls in their ym or facebook pages, i'd like to keep my thoughts to myself.  well, i  understand these people.  
......some are blogging non-personal suff.  they don't spill their emotions or their thoughts online so they wouldn't really care who stumbles upon their blog.  
......some are living (or projecting) to live a rainbow-britey-kind-of-life where everything is pleasant and oozing with wonder.  these people i detest.  comm'on!  be true to yourself.
.....some choose to restrain their emotions and thoughts and write only about positive or neutral things in their lives.

but me?  i want to be free.  free to open up and write about my rants, my raves, and anything in between.  

i have a very low key life.  unlike others who can post "interesting" fb status almost every minute of their lives, i live a normal, boring, uneventful life.  and this is what's i'm going to blog about. :)

my new home

i have been blogging since 2006 but i have "abandoned" my previous blog. it was too obvious and i wanted to remain as anonymous as i can be. i want to be honest when i blog and i am more comfortable being honest if i'm anonymous. yeah, yeah, i'm a chicken like that.

i have also toyed with the idea of deleting my abandoned blog but just couldn't. i have spent so much time in that blog and i have to admit it has sentimental value. i was younger and i wrote a lot of useless stuff - some funny, some plainly uninteresting. there were painful memories too.

i tried to create other blogs after i abandoned my original blog but i have deleted them all. i'm not as a consistent blogger as i was before. but lately, i am feeling a little urge to blog again. just a little but maybe i'd be more motivated to blog this time.

well, this is it! i have found my new home.