the unfashionable loves fashion

one of the things i really enjoy doing is to watch tv series.  i used to watch tv a lot but when i discovered the power of downloading, i said good bye to tv and hello to laptop-viewing.  sometimes when my most coveted tv series are un-downloadable, i turn to buying pirated dvds.  haha!

i have observed that etc (a local tv channel) is a good source of new tv series.  my recent discovery is the rachel zoe project.  i knew about rachel zoe from perez hilton's website.  as a person, she's not that interesting because she's not as crazy as the kardashians but i guess it's her job and the world she lives in that has captured my attention.  

i would definitely be out of place in the fashion world.  everybody looks fab and fierce.  women are well put together, not a strand of hair out of place.  i like that.  i find it amusing.  i'm not a fashionista.  of course, since i live a low key life, i dress the part.  so there's a mismatch there.  i love looking at fashion but i-am-not-fasyon!.  haha.

high heels would sometimes go well with the dress i'm wearing but i would settle for flats because it's more comfortable.  i would choose flats even if it decreases the attire's wow factor.  lol!  i guess for me, comfort comes before vanity.  

what about you, would you prefer fashion over comfort?

true blo(od)g

i love reading blogs that show the true blood of their authors.  i am entertained by bloggers who share a part of themselves - whether good or bad.  when i read happy moments in their lives, i feel inspired.  when i read about the negative stuffs, i don't mind because these are the real deal.

i also enjoy blogs that are so impersonal but not as much as i enjoy true blood blogs.  well, for me, impersonal blogs would include those blogs that only focus on writing reviews - movie reviews, restaurant reviews, gadgets, fashion, make-up etc.  owners of such blogs don't share anything about themselves.  actually, they write about everything except about them. :)

i have been reading a lot of true blood blogs lately.  i appreciate their honesty.  i might not know them personally.  i might not even like them or feel comfortable around them if i knew them in real life.  but they feed my curiosity.  they are my escape from reality boredom.   


how about you?  do you have a true blood blog or an impersonal one?

bitter pill as vitamins

i am not a religious person but i try to be a good christian.  emphasis on the word "try" since it takes a lot to be a good christian and i have to admit that i don't exert as much effort as i ought to.  anyway, i attended a bible study this morning and bitterness was the focus of the lesson.  

i.am.a.bitter.person.  i have so much "imbyerna" in my body.  imbyerna is a local term for something to the effect of being dramatically annoyed.  i get pissed easily.  i get annoyed by the slightest distraction.  it seems that i have mistaken bitter pills for vitamins.

i guess my gender is one of the contributing factors why my "imbyerna" mode is always on.  women are known to over-analyze everything.  i'm a mad woman.  i always think about the ulterior motive.  i don't take things at face value.  i always try to think about infinity...and beyond... lol!

i also think that it's because i am exposed to so much negativity that it became a part of my system.  i harbor ill feelings toward anything under the sun.  what a trite expression - anything under the sun.

geez, i have been posting one negative entry after another.  i hope i can write something light and refreshing next time.  

wedding bills?

people are going over the top on weddings these days.  i just talked to two very close friends of mine.  one is going to spend around 450 thousand while the other estimates her wedding cost to be close to 520 thousand.  and then i heard that one of my officemates is spending over a million on her wedding.  OMG!  is it that expensive to get married?

i don't want to be a hypocrite.  i am also dreaming of a nice wedding.  i've never had a grand celebration in my entire life.  i didn't have a grand debut party when i turned 18.  i thought it was a waste of money.  but i don't think i can say the same for my wedding.  i want it to be elegant.  

i know that what happens after the wedding is more important than the wedding itself.  i don't want to spend so much on the wedding and then end up in debts after because we have spent all of our savings for a one day event.  but i don't want to be a pauper on my wedding.  i want to feel like a princess on that special day. 


i am not asking for too much.  i want a small wedding.  few people who are there to celebrate with me not just mere spectators.  i just hope that we can save up enough so i can have the wedding that i want.  simple, small, and elegant.

how about you, how much are you willing to spend on your wedding?

are you gonna be like my dad?

i am pissed and frustrated at my boyfriend.  he and i both know that his job sucks.  he earns barely enough and his company treats its employees like school kids.  he keeps on saying that he will find another job when he is irritated at work.  but i don't see him doing something about it.  i mean, if your work sucks, FIND ANOTHER JOB!  

i am also irritated that he is clinging to his office friends.  he has friends who transferred to company x.  he said he hates the nature of his current work, saying that it is not his cup of tea.  he wants to go into programming, yada, yada, yada.  but holy crap, why does he keep on blabbing about company x where his work will be the same.

since he said he hates his current job and wants to pursue a career in programming, i searched for programming jobs.  i sent his resume and he got an invitation to come in for an exam.  but to my frustration, he always has an excuse not to go.  i mean, you're not even sure you would get the job.  what's wrong with just trying it out?


just a few minutes ago, i got a message from him that he and his office friends are planning to apply to this company y which is into programming.  well now, he is considering to apply.  and why?!  because his friends are also applying!  i want explode!  i am so angry, tears are welling up in my eyes.

if i don't hold my tongue, i think i'm gonna lose it.  if only he can read this, i wanna say this:  i don't want you to turn out to be just like my dad who can't stand on his own.  who instead of doing something to improve the situation is too lazy to even do something.  and i don't want to end up just like my mother who takes on the lead role in the family.  who shouldered all the burden in the family because he has a husband she can't depend on.

who's your homie?

people who don't know me would immediately conclude that i am a snob.  i can't blame them since i look like a snob.  i don't have the angelic and naive type of face that we normally see in teen magazines.  sometimes, when i feel like it, i smile at people i don't even know.  but usually, i just sport an i-don't-give-a-damn-look. 


it's not that i intentionally want to intimidate people.  it's just that i am not that interested in people.  i don't feel the need to accumulate friends.  actually, i find it completely strange when people particularly in facebook, add people they don't even know.  i mean what's the point?  i think it is utterly useless and i find it annoying.   

i don't feel the need to be famous or to know almost everybody in the neighborhood or in the office or wherever i might be.  what i need is to be close to the people who matter to me.  people who will be a part of my life after i have moved houses, transferred to a different job, or migrated to a different planet. :)


because i live a low key life, i am fine with the small circle of friends that i have.  these are the people i have and intend to maintain deep and long lasting relationships with.

why is it my low key life?

i wanted to remain anonymous so i picked out a name for my blog that couldn't possibly be associated with me.  unlike people i know who display their urls in their ym or facebook pages, i'd like to keep my thoughts to myself.  well, i  understand these people.  
......some are blogging non-personal suff.  they don't spill their emotions or their thoughts online so they wouldn't really care who stumbles upon their blog.  
......some are living (or projecting) to live a rainbow-britey-kind-of-life where everything is pleasant and oozing with wonder.  these people i detest.  comm'on!  be true to yourself.
.....some choose to restrain their emotions and thoughts and write only about positive or neutral things in their lives.

but me?  i want to be free.  free to open up and write about my rants, my raves, and anything in between.  

i have a very low key life.  unlike others who can post "interesting" fb status almost every minute of their lives, i live a normal, boring, uneventful life.  and this is what's i'm going to blog about. :)