i mentioned before that i'm job hunting within the company. well, unfortunately i was informed last friday that i didn't get the role i applied for. the email was actually well-written. it said i was a possible candidate and i had potential for the role but due to the stringent requirement for the role they have to look elsewhere. i guess that's a good way of saying it rather than not even bothering to let me know that i didn't get the job.
i'm a bit bummed but what can i do. that job was not for me. i knew it was not a right fit for me. hell, they were looking for someone who had background in statistics not just research. i used to be a researcher but i am perfectly clueless about stat so that's just it. i wanted my way out of this dumpster but suffice it to say, that that role was not my ticket out.
i'm annoyed than usual about my role. actually, the actual work is okay. i can deal with and i am actually good in it. what annoys me are the people i work with. the manipulative bitches who suck the life out of me. the scheming third-rate team leads who got to their position simply because of seniority.
i feel exploited by these assholes. they exploit my skills and yet they don't have any intention of recognizing my contributions. urgh! i hate you all! i'm sick of your faces. if only i can get away with it, you will leave the office today black and blue with your hair falling off your heads.
hahaha. i think i should enroll myself in anger management class.
i felt exploited at work this week. my boss is not very good when it comes to writing. i am not a good writer but so far i'm the best in the team.
anyway, they wanted to nominate a project for the upcoming project management awards and they had to come up with a write up for the project. i was extremely busy because it was a peak season at work but they asked for my help and i did.
i had nothing to gain from that write up. my name would not even see the light of day in that nomination. if ever the project wins, i will not receive an award because i am not one of the project managers. i am just a member of the project team. but because i always strive for excellence i came up with the best write up as i possibly can. i was not a project manager so there were details that i was not aware of so i felt that i could have come up with a better write up than i did but that's beside the point.
the point is, i am always there. i always help out. i always contribute more than what is expected. i always deliver excellent results. i always have good ideas. BUT i don't think i am given what i deserve. work sucks. i freakin' hate it.
i applied for an internal job posting a couple of weeks ago. after a week, i didn't hear from the hiring manager so i told myself that's the end of it. and then surprisingly, the next day the hiring manager pinged me and told me that he just noticed my application and wanted to check if i'm still interested so i said yes. we talked the following day. just an informal chat since i already said everything in my application. the application is sort of essay-type so that basically almost the interview.
i told my manager about the application after the chat with the hiring manager. hiring managers ask for feedback from the current manager so i informed my manager. as it turns out, my manager was surprised about the application. i don't know if it's an issue but her manager who is my one-up manager asked me about the application. what the fuck? my manager does not have the balls to talk to me. he has to tell his immediate manager about it. give me a break!
well, i've already talked to both of them and sorted things out. i cleared that i am not unhappy (although i really am) and i am just exploring my options for career growth. it's a lie obviously because i'm sick of my current role already. well, sick maybe too much but i mean, when you work your ass off, at one point you would ask "what's in it for me?". there aren't any positions to get promoted so if i'm not going to be promoted then i better take charge of my career right? i have to look for a place where i can grow. i ain't working hard for nothing.
insert deep, deep sigh here. haha. i want to get promoted! i want a job where i can be successful. i. want. to. be. successful.
familiar with the saying, find a job that you love and you won't have to work a single day in your life? i really wish i got into a career path that i love so i won't have to feel like a slave everyday.
i'm losing interest in my work. i used to really put in a lot of effort at work. i don't mind staying late and i work on weekends even. i don't enjoy it but it was something that i was ok with. now, i don't enjoy it period. i'm still a hardworker because that's one of my innate qualities. when i'm doing something, i try to give it my best shot even if it's something that i don't want to do. except sports that is. i absolutely hate sports. when i have to play ball or whatever kind of sport during office olympics, i really get surly. but i digress. i'm losing interest at work because i don't feel that i'm reaping the fruits of my labor. i want to get promoted and i want the salary increase that goes with it.
i'm actually due for transfer since i've been 2 years in my current role already. so i really hope that when i get to move to a new role, it will be something that i will be exceptionally good at, something that i will enjoy, something where there will be more direction in terms of career path, and a huge salary increase! haha.
how about you? do you enjoy your work?
